In 2015....

I never make New Year's Resolutions. Not only do I know I would never stick to them, I think they are kind of nonsense. This year, however, I am going to make a list of things I am going to do, work on, and be in the new year.

1. Kind (er). To strangers, my husband,  friends, family, and most importantly, myself. I have been so hard on myself the past 7 months and I don't deserve it. I always try to be kind to the people around me, but don't always succeed for whatever reason. I will never know all of the battles and struggles others are facing, so I will do my best to be the best I can be when interacting with everyone.

2. Stay healthy. I do not ever set a new year's goal of losing weight. I think that's failure from the get go. Sure I could stand to lose some weight, but I don't NEED to. I am currently healthy as a horse (hopefully writing that doesn't jinx me) even without being supermodel skinny, having 6 pack abs, or being able to run marathons. I enjoy working out, and do work out, so I will continue to do the type of exercises that I enjoy, only do it more often and try to expand my horizons and learn some new exercises. Besides, exercise is good for the brain, too.

3. Delve deeper into my anxiety. I know I have anxiety and I am quite obviously (to those that know me well) an anxious person. Especially when it comes to new things or change, the unknown, and things that don't matter. I tend to know most of my triggers, but not all of them. I will learn more about things going on in my life, in the world, and in society that may be causing me to be anxious. I will also learn to control these things and continue to learn how to prevent anxiety attacks. 

4. Hobbies and interests are not something I have many of. I love to read, but that is really the only thing I can think of when people ask me what my hobbies are. I recently started getting into make up. I always wore a little bit of make up, but in the last four months or so I have been buying products I never worse before (lipstick!!!??), trying things I found I had bought and never used, and reading beauty blogs/tips. I want to continue to learn more about make up and how to apply it, how to use different products for different things, and most importantly, how to go WITHOUT make up. I think natural beauty is also important, so I do not want to get caught up in having to look flawless 100% of the time. 

5. Love myself completely. I used to hate myself, my life, and everything in it. I learned how to love myself and in turn fell in love with other people. Lately I have been letting that self love slip away. I have started to talk badly about myself, compare myself to others, and just plain be negative towards everything about me. I don't mean those things I say, I don't hate myself or my looks, I don't think others are "better" than me, and I don't think others think those things about me. Because of other things going on that is what I have taken to to cope. I think. I am going to work on my self esteem, once again, and fall back in love with myself. I know others love me, and I know I will see that love more if I first believe in myself with everything I am. Self love can go along ways.

6. Communicate. Let's be honest, sometimes I am selfish. Sometimes I don't want to listen to what others say and I want to be right, even if I know that I am completely wrong. When my husband is right and I'm wrong about something I was dead set on being right about, I get kind of bratty. I think some of that comes from my wonderful middle child syndrome, and some of it just comes from wanting to feel better about myself. That makes zero sense, but I think that's true. I need to stop being so selfish and listen to others, not push others away when they want to help or offer advice (even if it's the same advice they've told me 100 times), or simply tell me a story. Sometimes I get so caught up in talking about me, my experience, my story, that I am afraid others don't even listen to me anymore. I don't know why I do that, but I need to stop. I don't do it all of the time, but I need to make a conscience effort to listen better. Especially to my husband (and he would agree), because even if I don't always want to believe it, he is usually right more often than I am . =)

7. Unplug. Matthew and I are guilty of being that couple that is out for dinner together and both on our cell phones rather than talking to each other. I hate that. It bothers me when I see other people doing that and it really bothers me when I realize that Matthew and I are guilty. Not only that but when we are with a group of family or friends. I am going to start putting my phone away when I am out with friends and especially out with my husband. It may take awhile to get my bad habits turned around, but they'll never change if you start try!!

Those, among other things not listed, are the things I want to put my focus on in this new year. Do you make new year's resolutions? Do you follow through with them? What kinds of things do you have on your list?

I hope everyone has a safe, happy, and prosperous new year!!! 



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