Broken Crayons Still Color

I am lacking a lot of things right now. Motivation, desire, joy, smiles, laughter, confidence, [self] love. Just to name a few. It sounds like a lot, and it is. I could blame a lot of different things; weather, holidays, work, friends. But it's not the fault of or result of just one thing or another. It's a combination of things which happens to include the weather (it's been gloomy for like, 5 days in a row), long (holiday) weekends throwing me off my routine, and a bunch of other stuff. A week before Thanksgiving break my therapist dropped a ball on me (something I've not yet written about, but I will when I am ready) and I had to switch. I started with someone new on December 1st. I went back and forth for a long while about continuing therapy or just taking a break. In the end I started over. And that's exactly what it has been...starting over. It hasn't been easy. I'm struggling to open up. I'm still holding onto anger that got me there. I don'

Well, it's a new year again. Time for everyone to blast their New Year's Resolutions all over social media, and when they fail or don't have the energy to follow through with said resolutions you just simply quit seeing any posts about them. I haven't made New Year's Resolutions since I was like, 12. I couldn't follow through with them back then and they were probably things like "be nicer to my brother". I also didn't put much thought into them at that age, either. I now resolve to not make resolutions. As someone with anxiety and depression, making a list of things to change, do, try, be, etc. in a new year is setting yourself up for major failure. I expel so much time and energy working on myself all year round, because if I didn't I wouldn't be functioning AT ALL in this crazy life. There are, of course, things I could do better, new tricks I could try and some pounds I could shed. Nobody is perfect, and self love is something that I