I can, and I will.

Well, it's a new year again. Time for everyone to blast their New Year's Resolutions all over social media, and when they fail or don't have the energy to follow through with said resolutions you just simply quit seeing any posts about them. I haven't made New Year's Resolutions since I was like, 12. I couldn't follow through with them back then and they were probably things like "be nicer to my brother". I also didn't put much thought into them at that age, either. I now resolve to not make resolutions.

As someone with anxiety and depression, making a list of things to change, do, try, be, etc. in a new year is setting yourself up for major failure. I expel so much time and energy working on myself all year round, because if I didn't I wouldn't be functioning AT ALL in this crazy life. There are, of course, things I could do better, new tricks I could try and some pounds I could shed. Nobody is perfect, and self love is something that I am lacking. Some may argue that writing down goals or resolutions would help to increase motivation in achieving said goals. That may work for some, but for me it causes more anxiety and stress. I am not opposed to visual reminders, but as for writing down formal goals about how much weight I will lose, how many new friends I will make, and how much money I will save, and starting at it every single day? Not for me. Now, as for the visual reminders (think "YOU ARE A BADASS BITCH" written on the mirror) I have had intentions of  doing that for awhile now and just haven't gotten around to it. I need positive affirmations in my life and I will take them however I can get them. Including hand written messages on my mirror, my daily planner, my journals, and anywhere else I see fit.

The beginning of this new year is a good time for me to think and reflect on the previous year, all that worked and all that didn't work. I will journal my way though how shitty the holidays were for me this year. I will talk my way through the darkness that needs to be uncovered in order for me to find the light. I will force myself out of my comfort zone in order to help myself heal these scars. I will work on decreasing the self doubt and increasing my self love. I'm going to continue working on letting shit go and forgiving people who hurt me, even if they don't ask for that forgiveness. I also need to be more open to trying things that I think might scare me, be hard, or bring on anxiety. Outside of my comfort zone is where I will truly grow. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Show me what you've got, 2017. I'm ready.

                                            New Year - New Dreams!:


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