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Showing posts from September, 2017

The Bump

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I'm not as good keeping my own secrets as I am at keeping other people's. When it's a secret that can only be hidden for a few months that kind of throws some wrenches in the as well. Plus, I'm bursting with joy inside and that is something worth sharing.

On 9.12.17 I fell head over heals in love, again. Matthew and I found out about 7 weeks that we are expecting. I can't say it was planned, I can't say it wasn't planned. It was a welcomed surprise, that we honestly weren't expecting. While we had been trying we were not doing like they show in the movies, ya know, tracking my body temperature and the time of day I was most fertile. I don't know how people have time for that business, but good for them! So anyways, it was on a weekend when we found out and for that reason I peed on several different brands of pregnancy tests to just make extra sure. I did not have any of the typical symptoms (morning sickness) but I will say, my boobs have never hur…

Breaking The Silence

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I've been quiet lately. I have started several drafts but just haven't had it in me to finish and post any of them. It's not because I don't have anything to say, I always have plenty. I think my lack of writing has been more to do with feeling like I need to live in silence and not share my struggles with the world. Like I overshare, or give people false perceptions of who I am. All reasons that are completely ridiculous. Anxiety seemed to have hijacked my thought process and sent me into a pit of self doubt. Why would I doubt that I should continue to share my walk including successes as well as failures? I've been doing it for awhile now and have had a handful of people reach out to me to thank me (and a few who have given unsolicited advice, which is inventible.)

I have been thinking a lot about this and processing why I suddenly went quiet and I came up with a few hypothesis. About six weeks ago I finished a round of group therapy. Nobody except for my husband…