Broken Crayons Still Color

I am starting to come out of a very dark place, one I have been in for the past 6 weeks or so. It's a good feeling, but I know it's not the end. For the last month or more it has been one thing after another. I have been going through the stages of grief without having lost anything physical (never realized that was possible) I started out being in denial that all of these terrible things could happen. It started when we lost an opportunity we had really been planning on, as it was something we were told to expect. After that blow came another lost opportunity. That's when the anger kicked in. I was SO angry. I was angry at the world, and everyone who's path I crossed. I was angry at God. I was angry at him for giving us this amazing baby boy growing inside of me, and then taking away two extremely deserved opportunities. I was really angry at all of the people involved in these missed opportunities, and I was even more angry at the reasons behind them. Both of those

For three years now I have been trying to figure out why people are so quick to talk about how tough marriage is, and how hard the first year is, and "oh wait until you're married and this that and the other happens." Today Matthew and I celebrate (not literally-we're old) our 3rd anniversary. In the three years we have been married, and the six months leading up to the big day, we have faced many more obstacles and challenges than you would believe. Between moving, (Matthew) starting a new job, and me being unemployed for eight months, we knocked out some of the toughest things couples go through. Of course it all came with arguments, tears, nights of sleeping separately, stress, etc., There were also a lot of laughter, love, and appreciation for each other. We weathered those storms with communication (both verbal and non verbal!) and grace, if you will. Year one of marriage was pretty great. I was finally gainfully employed, and while that job slowly started to t