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Showing posts from August, 2016

MASK [ed]

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I don't think I've been honest. Lately I've been extremely cognizant of who I talk to and what I talk to them about. I am so afraid of being completely open and honest to people due to the recent shame and judgment I feel has been passed on me. I have been told that I "seem to" always have bad days, that I'm never happy, that people feel like telling me something great in their life isn't acceptable because maybe things aren't so great in mine. At first comments and thoughts like this had me feeling hurt. But the truth is, I am angry. I am angry because this past year has been all about me finding out who my friends are. It's been about being open with my journey, new beginnings, a new chapter, and being myself. It's proven to be challenging and full of plenty of ups and downs. I've accomplished so many things that people in my life never had faith in my ability to do. I've learned that people aren't who they say they are. But I am…

Seperation Anxiety

My parents recently spent seven days with us down here in Austin. They left to go back to South Dakota on August 3rd. It had been seven months, to the day, since I had seen my dad, and a few days shy of being seven months since seeing my mom, other than on a computer screen. While they were here we spent a good share of our time relaxing, and a good share of it running around showing them our favorite spots. We got together with my other relatives who live here and were able to catch up with all of them. We ate a lot, drank a lot, drove a lot, shopped a lot, and had many great conversations. By the end of their trip we were all exhausted and ready to go back to our normal daily grind. I for one had been out of my routine for too many days and it was starting to make me a wee bit cranky! There were times when I wanted to hide away in my bed and not do anything, but I made the best of it and powered through those times to enjoy every second with them, knowing that it would be a few mont…