Showing posts from April, 2017

Me and G.O.D

There's a part of me and my life that I keep pretty quiet, especially around people I don't know. And that is my strong belief in God and everything else that entails.

Last night I was in a conversation with some people, whom I have only known for about 3 months or so. The topic somehow got to spirituality and religion. Everyone knows you don't talk about politics and religion, which I kind of think is bullshit and the reason why everyone is always angry at each other. Lack of interest in other people's beliefs or opinions along with not having the desire to listen openly is causing a lot of tension between people in this world. I shared with these people my (very different compared to theirs) belief. I shared that I was raised Catholic, going to church weekly, having my First Communion in the second grade and confirmation in high school. I briefly mentioned some church retreats and youth rallies I have attended. I didn't tell them how much I enjoyed those events b…

People And Social Anxiety

For many years of my life I was a "social butterfly". I was always going full speed ahead. I was constantly with people, at social events/parties, always searching for things to do and places to go. I thrived in the social arena. Even in high school I was always wanting to go out and about and do things. Whether it was going to every single sporting event, the mall, a concert, or just having my friends over. I loved it!

Not so much anymore. What I feel now is that people are exhausting. I am currently on about a two week stretch of constant social interaction and events including family, work, and friends. It has left me extremely fatigued and out of sorts. I have not had the amount of alone time I need to unwind, decompress, and take care of myself. It's not anyone's fault that I have been so busy. We had an extremely busy weekend with one of Matthew's work events that left me physically exhausted and in bed for most of a 24 hour stretch. Then we had a long wee…

Do (n't). Ask. Me.

I've been getting asked a really annoying and hurtful question a lot lately. "Do you ever have any good days?" I've been down this road before with people, and I am learning how to tell if the person asking me is doing so out of a caring place, or if they are asking that out of a place of hate. Usually I feel like it comes from a negative place, maybe hate isn't the right word. It's really a hurtful thing to be asked that question. I understand that many people don't realize this when they ask it, but I have come to believe than many times this question is asked with the intent to hurt.

Asking me "Do you ever have any good days?" reinforces so many of the negative thoughts I have towards myself. It makes me stop and ask myself if I do, in fact, ever have a good day? It immediately discounts any amount of good that may have happened that day, or the day before even. I am trying to get better at not labeling my days as good or bad and it's ha…