What I Learned

We had Christmas with my mom's family this past weekend. I know, Christmas was a month ago, but we never get together until January. Which is okay with me because it keeps the Christmas spirit alive just a little bit longer! Our family is growing, and not because any of us are having kids, etc. It's because we have so many "adopted" family members. We had four extra bodies at my aunt and uncles house this weekend, which compared to some families still isn't that many people. I think we had 14 total? As a side note, it makes me happy that so many people enjoy our family enough to feel welcome at our holidays :)

What I learned about myself this weekend is I do not do well in small areas with many people. My uncle has a bar in his basement. We usually spend our time down there drinking, conversing, maybe dancing, and having fun. There were so many people down there this time around that I felt like I wasn't truly able to let go and unwind. I was constantly moving, trying to find an open area where I wasn't standing directly next to someone. His bar isn't exactly small, but when you pack 10 plus people in there, it feels small. I had many moments of near panic. I've never really had that problem before. When we were sitting in the dinging room crammed elbow to elbow around the table to play Bingo, I was fine. Maybe it's because we were all sitting in our spots and not moving around, etc. I have no idea.

What I also learned, is I cannot stand "waiting". My aunt and uncle, who were hosting us, came up with a fun little gift for all of us that involved numbers. We had to pick a small shot off of the tree and there was a number on the bottom of the bottle. We went in numerical order of then picking a gift. And THEN we had to go in numerical order of OPENING them. Oh my god. It was painful. Once two or three people opened we understood we were all getting the same things in our packages as a joke I thought we should all just open them and be done with it. Not the case, my loud and obnoxious aunt had to shout at everyone to "wait their turn". It was not fun.

My dad retired on Friday night so we had a little celebration and gave him a few gifts. It was quick and painless. On Saturday before supper he decided he wanted to give us the speech he gave at work the day before, and show us a few of the gifts from his co workers. I was expecting a 10-15 minute speech and to move on to the meal, etc. I was wrong. My dad is not a public speaker. He gets way off topic and starts to ramble. (nerves, I imagine) It was not good for me. I had to leave three times during his speech to take deep breaths and get myself under control. I felt bad because I love my dad, am excited for his retirement, and wanted to hear what he had to say...but I think he had bad timing. Maybe it's a patience thing, maybe it's an anxiety thing. Whatever it was, I was not having it. I am glad I recognized it and was able to step away for a few seconds (and keep my mouth shut!)

I'm glad I learned those things about myself this weekend. It will allow me to be on cue in future situations. I can recognize what is happening and know that it will pass and I will be fine. 


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