Fatigue

Fatigue

[fuh-teeg]

noun

1.weariness from bodily or mental exertion.

I am so mentally fatigued that I don't even know what day it is anymore. I haven't been sleeping well for the past 7-10 days and it is wearing on me. I am so busy at work that I don't even know if I am coming or going half the time. I can barely keep my head above water lately. I am so tired of the day to day bullshit. I am so exhausted from trying to do everything. I am burned out from this anxiety that has taken itself to a new level. I was starting to feel the progress that I was making. It was evident to me in my day to day life that things were better. I had less anxiety. I had a slightly higher level of confidence in myself. I was utilizing my coping skills. I was doing my best to build my self esteem. I was feeling so much better about things overall. I came back from Thanksgiving with a positive outlook after leaving in such a funk. I wrote about how I had a better than anticipated transition back to reality.  I had a renewed sense of energy that I was on the right path and that maybe, just maybe, I could put anxiety in the backseat of my life. Just like that it's back up front, riding shot gun and trying so hard to take over the driver's seat. I know with the holidays coming up it is not going to get better anytime soon.


12.26.16
I didn't finish this post when I started it. I had a few bad days and just couldn't do it. Now that the holidays are here and gone I have so much more to write about. I'm trying everything in my toolbox to regulate myself and stay calm, but it's not working so well. Because this is how anxiety takes over my life, I'm not going to finish this post. I will start a new one about the past couple of weeks and maybe when I'm feeling up to it I can write a more in depth post about fatigue and how damn tired I am.