Before Thirty

In five days I will turn 30. In five days I will no longer be a 20-something. I will end one decade of my life and start another one. I will have to remember to change the 2 to a 3 when someone asks me how old I am, or rather, when I tell someone (because it's rude to ask a lady's age, right?) I can't believe that my years of being a 20 something are coming to an end. At times it felt like my 20s flew by, but most of the time I feel like they actually lasted a nice, long time. I never imagined myself living to be 21, and now here I am. Closing out the chapter of my life that really, truly, made me who I am today. Once I hit 21, and then 22, and eventually 25 and so on, I realized that I made it much farther in life than I ever imagined I would, and that maybe life wasn't so bad after all. Last week when we were on vacation I asked Matthew what day it was, (because who keeps track of time and days on vacation?!) and he told me it was April 7th. I think my jaw literally dropped and I said "OH MY GOD MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 2 WEEKS!!" and then I realized later in the day it was only April 6th. See...nobody keeps track of time on vacation. Anyways, it got me thinking about my life and everything that happened and all of the things I did while I was a 20 something.

 I failed out of college at 20
I moved home
I moved away from home for the 2nd time without knowing anybody where I was going
I went back to college at 22.
I had my first serious relationship
I graduated from college on the Dean's List at 24
I met one of my best friends
I got my first "real job" .
I had a terrible break up from said serious relationship
I traveled to Rhode Island by myself and didn't tell anyone where I was going (thankfully my friend I went to see wasn't an ax murder)
I met my future husband
I recognized my mental health was in the garbage, and I dealt with it
I moved in with said future husband.. (er, he moved in with me!)
I GOT ENGAGED! when I was 27
I had my first real vacation in years, we went to Michigan and it's still one of my favorite trips
I moved out of the city I had called home for six years
I survived 8 months of unemployment at the age of 28
I GOT MARRIED!! when I was 28
I took a job working with a population I admit I knew nothing about, and hated my boss
I fell in love with Austin, TX after a short four day weekend to visit family
I got my first puppy!
I told Matthew I wanted to MOVE out of SD
I got a job in Austin, TX
I MOVED here, and lived here without my better half for far too many weeks
and most recently on my accomplishments while in my 20s,...
I traveled to Europe, aka out of the country for my very first time

Those are the big things that happened to me in the last decade. Of course there are several other things. I made friends, I lost friends, I lost family, I said goodbye to many people who I felt were no longer good for me. I took other trips and had many other great memories with family and friends. I know I surprised my family by moving so far away, and not only did I move so far away but I did it alone, and I am thriving down here. There were so many struggles in my early 20s, and even in my mid 20s. I went through many phases the past 10 years including some I am not proud of. All of those faces and all of those struggles build me up and got me here, so even if they weren't the happiest of times I am thankful for all of them. Especially the summer that Matthew spent chasing me and breaking down every single guarded wall I had up. That's what I'm most thankful for.

As I soak up the last five days of being a 20 something I am going to remember that age is just a number. I'm going to remember that like wine, we get better with age. I'm going to set new goals for myself to accomplish while I am a 30 something. I'm going to keep trying things that used to scare me.  I am going to continue to grow into the person that those years of being 20 started. I'm going to be the best version of me, even when that version is buried deep down inside of me and afraid to come out. Even when the best me is hibernating and too anxious or depressed to do anything more than get out of bed. I have made it this far, it's time to soar.

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