Skip to main content

Its Not Me. It's YOU.

I am in a perpetual state of fight or flight. I am always going straight to negative self talk. I cry in my car and yell out loud to myself "What is wrong with me?!" I believe I am not good enough for anyone or any anything. I am a continual work in progress. I know that, but I can't always believe that. When I'm in a high state of anxiety I forget that I am doing extremely hard work. I discount all of the work I have done. I tell myself I'm not doing everything I should be doing. There is more I need to do, better ways to deal, cope, I need to be thriving instead of just surviving.

I blame myself. All of the time. For everything. I blame myself for things you say to me. I blame myself for failing out of college. I think it's my fault people have walked out of my life. I search for a reason to blame myself for all of the pain, both physical and emotional, that have been afflicted on me. I take the blame for people's misunderstandings of me. I internalize and blame myself for literally everything. When my family sucks? I blame me. When work doesn't go well? I blame me. When someone forgets I exist I take the fault on myself. That thing that someone said to me when I was 10 years old? That's my fault. Not being invited to a birthday party when everyone else was, well that was obviously my fault too. Most people will point the finger at anyone except themselves to avoid having to take blame. Not this ball of anxious energy. I am my own worst critic in a way I never understood. I have created a self esteem that is so poor you wouldn't believe it if I told you. I have a self image that I believe may scare you. It's gotten that bad. My lack of self confidence is lost and I am at a lost of where to find it.

I don't know if I am fully convinced that it has always been this way, but I'm sure the farther I get in this uncovering process the clearer that answer will be. I do accredit the recent onset of all of this self blame having a lot do with years of not being heard. Multiple people coming and going in my life, starting as far back as 12 years ago, leaving me to believe there is something wrong with ME. I'm the common denominator after all. If I was a better person in general people wouldn't be so quick to leave me in the dust. If I didn't have these open wounds I am trying to stitch back together maybe I wouldn't be so sensitive, thus blaming myself less for things out of my control. The lines between what things truly were and are my fault and things that are completely ridiculous that I am taking on myself are currently blurred. It's not going to be a quick or easy process to bring those lines and boundaries back into focus, but I can tell you that I am not going to give up. Even when I say I am going to or I see no other option than TO give up, I won't. I promise. And if you have it in you to hold me to that or help me to stay on track, please do. Please check in with me and give me all the positive energy and encouragement that you can. I can't do this alone, and while I know that I don't always feel like I am doing it with anyone but myself. Don't let me take blame for shit I didn't do or cause or say. Own up to you, and help me break this cycle of self blame.

                                                      Trying to carry the load alone is what's breaking me:

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Lost.

Life lately has been hard. I had a rough week and it seems to have carried through the weekend as well. I hate to even admit that because I'm trying to make some changes in my brain. I'm trying to hammer out what a bad day really is. I'm trying to learn what makes a bad day in Meghan's world. I've been down on myself lately and I don't even understand why. Nothing has changed. My anxiety is constant and I feel like I don't even remember what it's like to not be hyper vigilant. I am in this state of constant worry with "what ifs" running rampant in my brain. It's been having difficulty concentrating on my job, being present in conversations, and even caring about myself in general. I've been irritable and tired.  I just haven't been myself and because I don't know what the real issue is I don't know what to do to bring myself back. I'm stuck. I'm full of doubt and worry and none of it is worth the time I spend thinkin

Whatever Happened to Respect?

I've been thinking a lot lately. Shocker, I know. A friend of mine reached out to me a few months ago about my blog. He talked to me about how he had been tossing around the idea of starting a blog. I asked him what he wanted to write about. His reply really shocked me. He told me he often keeps his opinions to himself and is a "people pleaser" during conversations to avoid any arguments or disagreements between him and his friends. He told me that if his friends knew what his real thoughts and feelings on different topics were they would be really surprised. I was shocked! I didn't think he was one to just go with the crowd. I explained to him that I thought that was a great thing to write about and how I have worked my way out of being that same way. We talked about how keeping our mouth shut doesn't do any good in the long run and eventually it starts to really wear on a person to feel like they can never voice their opinion without feeling like your friends wi

i Don't Know How To Do This

Grieving is not something I have ever been good at. It's not that I haven't suffered any loss in my life, because there has certainly been plenty (even one loss is plenty, honestly) it's something else that I can't quite put my finger on. I am fortunate in that I haven't lost a person in my life, in the sense that they are no longer physically alive, in quite a few years. The last people I did lose were older relatives, which I think is different than someone you were close to on a work and personal level. So, here I am trying to figure out how to grieve the very sudden and even more tragic loss of the closest co worker I've probably ever had in Austin. And I don't know how to grieve her loss. She was in a tragic accident on Sunday, and her name was released yesterday afternoon. It was her and her daughter in her vehicle and neither of them survived. Christa was such a bright and happy person. Sure she was 20 years older than me but our connection was perf