There's A Story Behind Every person...[Stop Judging]

Last week I posted about how I feel so many people are uneducated about mental health. I'm going to revisit this topic.

 There is a mental illness crisis in this country. While the path to recovery begins with you recognizing or admitting that you have a problem,  it isn't that easy. We have country full of people living with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, you name it. I'd be willing to bet the largest majority of these people are living their life undiagnosed and without the treatment they need. Why? Stigma. There is a terrible stigma attached to mental health and it needs to stop!!! I get so angry when people are willing to realize that cancer, and diabetes, and heart disease, and alcoholism are all real issues and diseases that are killing people daily! Why can't these same people understand that mental health is also killing people daily? People take their own lives, they go untreated, un medicated, which call all lead to death [without suicide]. Just like not treating your cancer, or you diabetes, will eventually kill you. WHY is mental health any different, because it's not "visible"? I personally believe that it is plenty visible if you would stop and take time to actually look at a person. On my bad days I can look at myself and see my anxiety written all over my face. If someone is severely depressed all you have to do is take one good look at them and you can see it. People choose to overlook it. There are so many other real illnesses that are invisible but get treated as visible. Why not mental health? People who choose to not educate themselves on the growing issue are causing more and more people to crawl into holes, to attempt and even succeed in committing suicide, hiding their feelings, and refusing to get help. They are embarrassed, they think there is something wrong with them, and YOU are the reason.

Since I started posting these blogs on social media I have gotten major negative judgment. Some of the things I've been told are..

"Nobody has as many bad days as you"
"I don't want to be miserable like you"
"You're so negative and unhappy it's insane"
"You have nothing positive to say, ever"

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Those are some of the meanest things anyone has ever said to me. Ever. To me, those words came from a place of judgment, probably some hate, and purely being naïve. If you truly understand mental illness, and if you know my story, those are the last things you should say to me. Those should be the last things you say to anyone, ever. Mentally healthy or not. Where do people learn that behavior? Did someone in their life treat them so badly that they need to treat others that way? I will never understand it. When was it not okay to have bad days? Who's life is 100% rainbows and sunshine? If you think the truth is that I never have anything positive to say you clearly don't talk to me enough. if you think I am unhappy you don't spend enough time with me. If you think I am miserable you have NO idea who I am. Those words were said to me two days ago and they still hurt me. I'm not perfect, but I do know that I have never, and would never, say such mean hateful things to someone.

The fact that Anxiety Disorder is a huge part of me and my life will not change. If you knew me 10 years ago, or even 5, compared to now you would know that I have come so far in my fight. I am in such a happy place now for the first time, probably ever. That doesn't mean I can't have bad days, I can't have days I would rather bury myself under the covers than get out of bed, or cry for no apparent reason. It's how I move on after those bad days that matter. I have a wonderful loving husband who sticks by me, helps me, and stands up for me no matter what. I have the world's best friend that understands me even when I don't speak. I have a job, a roof over my head, big goals in my life, a puppy who adores me, and a passion driving me to better my life. I don't need people that will say those things to me. A fun fact: When you tell people with a mental health diagnosis things that that, even when they aren't true, they start to believe those things about themselves, only putting them deeper into the hole they are trying so hard to dig themselves out of. I have been writing this blog for a year now and until recently never posted anything publicly. Since starting to do so I have been able to weed out some toxic people in my life, and to me that is a good thing. I don't have time to waste on people like that.

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I invite anyone in my life who is not okay with the fact that I have an anxiety disorder to exit my life.


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