Skip to main content

In 2015....

I never make New Year's Resolutions. Not only do I know I would never stick to them, I think they are kind of nonsense. This year, however, I am going to make a list of things I am going to do, work on, and be in the new year.

1. Kind (er). To strangers, my husband,  friends, family, and most importantly, myself. I have been so hard on myself the past 7 months and I don't deserve it. I always try to be kind to the people around me, but don't always succeed for whatever reason. I will never know all of the battles and struggles others are facing, so I will do my best to be the best I can be when interacting with everyone.

2. Stay healthy. I do not ever set a new year's goal of losing weight. I think that's failure from the get go. Sure I could stand to lose some weight, but I don't NEED to. I am currently healthy as a horse (hopefully writing that doesn't jinx me) even without being supermodel skinny, having 6 pack abs, or being able to run marathons. I enjoy working out, and do work out, so I will continue to do the type of exercises that I enjoy, only do it more often and try to expand my horizons and learn some new exercises. Besides, exercise is good for the brain, too.

3. Delve deeper into my anxiety. I know I have anxiety and I am quite obviously (to those that know me well) an anxious person. Especially when it comes to new things or change, the unknown, and things that don't matter. I tend to know most of my triggers, but not all of them. I will learn more about things going on in my life, in the world, and in society that may be causing me to be anxious. I will also learn to control these things and continue to learn how to prevent anxiety attacks. 

4. Hobbies and interests are not something I have many of. I love to read, but that is really the only thing I can think of when people ask me what my hobbies are. I recently started getting into make up. I always wore a little bit of make up, but in the last four months or so I have been buying products I never worse before (lipstick!!!??), trying things I found I had bought and never used, and reading beauty blogs/tips. I want to continue to learn more about make up and how to apply it, how to use different products for different things, and most importantly, how to go WITHOUT make up. I think natural beauty is also important, so I do not want to get caught up in having to look flawless 100% of the time. 

5. Love myself completely. I used to hate myself, my life, and everything in it. I learned how to love myself and in turn fell in love with other people. Lately I have been letting that self love slip away. I have started to talk badly about myself, compare myself to others, and just plain be negative towards everything about me. I don't mean those things I say, I don't hate myself or my looks, I don't think others are "better" than me, and I don't think others think those things about me. Because of other things going on that is what I have taken to to cope. I think. I am going to work on my self esteem, once again, and fall back in love with myself. I know others love me, and I know I will see that love more if I first believe in myself with everything I am. Self love can go along ways.

6. Communicate. Let's be honest, sometimes I am selfish. Sometimes I don't want to listen to what others say and I want to be right, even if I know that I am completely wrong. When my husband is right and I'm wrong about something I was dead set on being right about, I get kind of bratty. I think some of that comes from my wonderful middle child syndrome, and some of it just comes from wanting to feel better about myself. That makes zero sense, but I think that's true. I need to stop being so selfish and listen to others, not push others away when they want to help or offer advice (even if it's the same advice they've told me 100 times), or simply tell me a story. Sometimes I get so caught up in talking about me, my experience, my story, that I am afraid others don't even listen to me anymore. I don't know why I do that, but I need to stop. I don't do it all of the time, but I need to make a conscience effort to listen better. Especially to my husband (and he would agree), because even if I don't always want to believe it, he is usually right more often than I am . =)

7. Unplug. Matthew and I are guilty of being that couple that is out for dinner together and both on our cell phones rather than talking to each other. I hate that. It bothers me when I see other people doing that and it really bothers me when I realize that Matthew and I are guilty. Not only that but when we are with a group of family or friends. I am going to start putting my phone away when I am out with friends and especially out with my husband. It may take awhile to get my bad habits turned around, but they'll never change if you start try!!

Those, among other things not listed, are the things I want to put my focus on in this new year. Do you make new year's resolutions? Do you follow through with them? What kinds of things do you have on your list?

I hope everyone has a safe, happy, and prosperous new year!!! 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Lost.

Life lately has been hard. I had a rough week and it seems to have carried through the weekend as well. I hate to even admit that because I'm trying to make some changes in my brain. I'm trying to hammer out what a bad day really is. I'm trying to learn what makes a bad day in Meghan's world. I've been down on myself lately and I don't even understand why. Nothing has changed. My anxiety is constant and I feel like I don't even remember what it's like to not be hyper vigilant. I am in this state of constant worry with "what ifs" running rampant in my brain. It's been having difficulty concentrating on my job, being present in conversations, and even caring about myself in general. I've been irritable and tired.  I just haven't been myself and because I don't know what the real issue is I don't know what to do to bring myself back. I'm stuck. I'm full of doubt and worry and none of it is worth the time I spend thinkin...

Word Vomit

This world and the people in it have gotten so.....delusional. Somewhere along the line people forgot that kindness is free. I'm not talking about helping someone who can't reach the top shelf at the grocery store (although this is something I often do!), or holding the door (common decency) but the kindness that comes along with listening to people who have different opinions than your own. Treating them with respect even if you don't agree with what they're saying. Not making assumptions based on what someone does or does not do. And quite frankly, I'm tired of it. Perhaps I'm in the minority with my thoughts and opinions and morals and beliefs, but even so I shouldn't feel so afraid or sharing them. I try to keep my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself to avoid being attacked by the keyboard warriors, but I realize that this is part of the problem. As tired as I am of the news and the debates and arguments and name calling and judging over COVID 19, BLM, ...

"The" and not "My"

I started this post a few weeks ago, and just couldn't figure out where to go with it. In the time between when I started it and now I have been extremely mindful of this and my wording around how I am feeling. And I can tell you that I feel exactly how I was hoping I would. It's almost a feeling of freedom. It's really amazing what a shift in thought patterns can do. It's not to say that I am not experiencing the crippling anxiety and all that goes along with that; but I feel much more confident in my ability to fight. Something that I say all of the time when referring to how anxious I am or what I'm feeling is "my anxiety is super high." I never realized I was even saying that but I've definitely been more mindful of it as of late. I noticed that when I own the anxiety as if it is part of me, it makes me feel less empowered. Less empowered to fight through it, accept the feelings that come with anxiety, and much less motivation to be so resilie...