I feel like the only way I know HOW to function anymore is in complete and utter chaos! Life has been doing a good job of keeping me on my toes.
A couple of days before Theo turned one, our washing machine malfunctioned and caused thousands of dollars worth of mitigation and repairs. We have been living in a door less home (except the bathroom and our bedroom) with missing carpet padding, missing trim, and ripped up door frames or six or seven weeks now. that same weekend Theo had a stomach bug along with my MIL and her husband. You can about imagine how much laundry that all created.
Over a week after the incident the appliance guy finally came to check out the washing machine. He told us that there was several things needing fixed and that it just wasn't worth the repair. He was going to recommend to the warranty company that they replace it. Weeks later we heard form them; they had ordered the parts and would send someone to fix it. UGH! Again, Matthew to the rescue! After mentioning the word "sue" if it should malfunction again, they agreed to cut us a check.....for half of what a washing machine costs. So, Meghan continues to haul loads of clothes to the laundromat each week, spending an hour of her life there and hauling the hampers full of wet clothes back home to dry.
Shortly after that incident the lawn treatment company came to treat for weeds and told us they discovered some form of a broken pipe underground. We got a quote for like $300 from a plumber to dig it up and repair it, but we'd have to wait at least a week My curious husband did some quick Google searching and found a cheaper plumber who could attend to it sooner. That problem was an easy (until we have to deal with it on the other end of the house) fix.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, like a day or two after the water incident and stomach bugs, and feeling like I ruined Theo's birthday party.....I had a mini meltdown. I chopped off all of my hair without even thinking about my sister's wedding that was a month away. I think I sat in my car afterwards and cried about it. The thing that snapped me out of it and shot me back into reality was a phone call I had given up on receiving. It was a job offer for the position I had interviewed for a week and half earlier. Praise. Jesus. An opening to move into a new chapter.
Resigning from a job that you have spent more than three years at, has been the reason you have learned your way around a brand new city, met the people you know, grown professionally, learned the hard way that some people are just plain bad, and experienced multiple other ups and downs with is a pretty big deal. At least it was to me. I didn't have any second thoughts or "maybes" or "what if I stay" thoughts. I had optimism in my back pocket and I was ready to use it. I did not even think twice about accepting the job offer and I gave my written notice the following Monday. I would be departing from my position effective March 29, 2019. My new job started April 2, so I was lucky to have one day of unemployment time :)
Giving my resignation was a validation of my decision. Things went down hill, I was treated coldly and differently once they knew I was leaving. But it was expected and I was fine. I just did what I needed to do, talked with my families about my leaving, and ensured them that they were not the reason I was moving on. They all understood, which helped the transition to be less saddening!
Back to the chaos! So, we have half a house that is torn apart with no repair date, a soggy lawn from a pipe bursting, germs and poop and vomit everywhere and on everything (probably), mini Meghan meltdown, job resignation, upcoming vacation, start of new job.....and then the daily chaos of being a mom to a one year old. I was an exhausted and emotional wreck for a few weeks.
During the midst of all of this I was not going to therapy due to scheduling and illness. This meant I started internalizing everything. My anxiety level stayed pretty consistent with few spikes, but I felt myself become a little more withdrawn than I am comfortable with. The bright side? I can recognize that now! A year or two ago that is not something that I could do on my own. I'd get way too far down to bring myself back up in healthy manner. I am still trying to navigate all of the changes that come with a new job, and while it's been easier than I expected it to be, it's still got it's challenges. To be honest I don't think that is abnormal for anyone.
Last Friday night we returned to Austin after a very much needed trip back to South Dakota. Because I'm apparently extra crazy I had accepted a home study assignment (for my part time gig) WHILE I was out of town and AFTER I told them I was going to be unavailable. We spent Saturday and Sunday trying to get back into a routine and relax, and that is when i realized that absolutely NOTHING had changed about my physical environment or to my priorities and responsibilities so even though I had a long refreshing vacation I was plopped right.back.into.the chaos. In fact, on Monday morning after I had gotten dressed and ready for work I sat down on the couch because I had no idea what to do next. Theo was eating breakfast, Matthew was in the shower, Wrigley was content with a bone, and I had no idea what to do or where to go next. five out of five mornings a week I am running around the second my feet hit the ground trying to get everyone ready and make sure everything is packed up for work and daycare. At least once a week I have to go around the block because I forgot something important at home. So what was I doing sitting on the couch acting like I'd never gotten up to go to work before? Maybe that was just the calm before another storm giving me more practice on remaining calm in the chaos.
A couple of days before Theo turned one, our washing machine malfunctioned and caused thousands of dollars worth of mitigation and repairs. We have been living in a door less home (except the bathroom and our bedroom) with missing carpet padding, missing trim, and ripped up door frames or six or seven weeks now. that same weekend Theo had a stomach bug along with my MIL and her husband. You can about imagine how much laundry that all created.
Over a week after the incident the appliance guy finally came to check out the washing machine. He told us that there was several things needing fixed and that it just wasn't worth the repair. He was going to recommend to the warranty company that they replace it. Weeks later we heard form them; they had ordered the parts and would send someone to fix it. UGH! Again, Matthew to the rescue! After mentioning the word "sue" if it should malfunction again, they agreed to cut us a check.....for half of what a washing machine costs. So, Meghan continues to haul loads of clothes to the laundromat each week, spending an hour of her life there and hauling the hampers full of wet clothes back home to dry.
Shortly after that incident the lawn treatment company came to treat for weeds and told us they discovered some form of a broken pipe underground. We got a quote for like $300 from a plumber to dig it up and repair it, but we'd have to wait at least a week My curious husband did some quick Google searching and found a cheaper plumber who could attend to it sooner. That problem was an easy (until we have to deal with it on the other end of the house) fix.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, like a day or two after the water incident and stomach bugs, and feeling like I ruined Theo's birthday party.....I had a mini meltdown. I chopped off all of my hair without even thinking about my sister's wedding that was a month away. I think I sat in my car afterwards and cried about it. The thing that snapped me out of it and shot me back into reality was a phone call I had given up on receiving. It was a job offer for the position I had interviewed for a week and half earlier. Praise. Jesus. An opening to move into a new chapter.
Resigning from a job that you have spent more than three years at, has been the reason you have learned your way around a brand new city, met the people you know, grown professionally, learned the hard way that some people are just plain bad, and experienced multiple other ups and downs with is a pretty big deal. At least it was to me. I didn't have any second thoughts or "maybes" or "what if I stay" thoughts. I had optimism in my back pocket and I was ready to use it. I did not even think twice about accepting the job offer and I gave my written notice the following Monday. I would be departing from my position effective March 29, 2019. My new job started April 2, so I was lucky to have one day of unemployment time :)
Giving my resignation was a validation of my decision. Things went down hill, I was treated coldly and differently once they knew I was leaving. But it was expected and I was fine. I just did what I needed to do, talked with my families about my leaving, and ensured them that they were not the reason I was moving on. They all understood, which helped the transition to be less saddening!
Back to the chaos! So, we have half a house that is torn apart with no repair date, a soggy lawn from a pipe bursting, germs and poop and vomit everywhere and on everything (probably), mini Meghan meltdown, job resignation, upcoming vacation, start of new job.....and then the daily chaos of being a mom to a one year old. I was an exhausted and emotional wreck for a few weeks.
During the midst of all of this I was not going to therapy due to scheduling and illness. This meant I started internalizing everything. My anxiety level stayed pretty consistent with few spikes, but I felt myself become a little more withdrawn than I am comfortable with. The bright side? I can recognize that now! A year or two ago that is not something that I could do on my own. I'd get way too far down to bring myself back up in healthy manner. I am still trying to navigate all of the changes that come with a new job, and while it's been easier than I expected it to be, it's still got it's challenges. To be honest I don't think that is abnormal for anyone.
Last Friday night we returned to Austin after a very much needed trip back to South Dakota. Because I'm apparently extra crazy I had accepted a home study assignment (for my part time gig) WHILE I was out of town and AFTER I told them I was going to be unavailable. We spent Saturday and Sunday trying to get back into a routine and relax, and that is when i realized that absolutely NOTHING had changed about my physical environment or to my priorities and responsibilities so even though I had a long refreshing vacation I was plopped right.back.into.the chaos. In fact, on Monday morning after I had gotten dressed and ready for work I sat down on the couch because I had no idea what to do next. Theo was eating breakfast, Matthew was in the shower, Wrigley was content with a bone, and I had no idea what to do or where to go next. five out of five mornings a week I am running around the second my feet hit the ground trying to get everyone ready and make sure everything is packed up for work and daycare. At least once a week I have to go around the block because I forgot something important at home. So what was I doing sitting on the couch acting like I'd never gotten up to go to work before? Maybe that was just the calm before another storm giving me more practice on remaining calm in the chaos.
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