I just got done reading yesterday's devotion in my neat little book that I seem to take so much comfort in but still struggle to remember to read daily. This week's theme is "your growth matters" and the title of the devotion was A Safe Place To Grow. Fitting for me and my current place in life. It talks about how a greenhouse is a safe haven for a plant to grow. It goes on to say that as one pursues a life that matters it is important to have a safe place to grow. A place where you can avoid elements that stunt your growth. A place where it is safe to make mistakes and try again. Be who you are, good, bad, or ugly. Where your roots can find healthy soil and be fed, watered, and nurtured. Direct access to the light of life. Somewhere in which you are able to plant your roots and flourish in a life that is meaningful and purposeful to YOU.
As I sit outside soaking up the partly cloudy sky and warm temperature; taking a much needed mental break from the day I am reflecting how this relates back to me. It's not a comparison that I would've ever thought up on my own, but what a brilliant one it is. I talk all of the time about how much I love Austin. Moving here was probably one of, if not the, best decisions of my life. And it wasn't a decision I made on my own, which makes it even better when thinking about how stubborn I can be in regards to doing what I want to do, not what others think is "best" for me. I don't question my growth since moving here. I have not gone backwards, or "shrunk", if you will. I moved a long ways from home and that was the very first step outside of my comfort zone. The rest of the steps have been in the right direction, leading me to much bigger growth (literally and figuratively, HA!). I had to do several things that many probably never thought I would handle. Back in December when I was reflecting on my first year in Austin it was so obvious to me how much I have grown. I think about my (almost) two years in Sioux Falls and while I wish I could say with all honesty that they were great years, they really weren't. They provided me with many challenges that I did overcome, but I felt stuck, and I felt like I was alone in my fight against whatever it was I was fighting then. I was damaged goods when I moved to Austin but the great thing about it was nobody knew that, and I had a fresh pot of soil to plant myself in.
To me Austin is the greenhouse, the home, the perfect fresh soil for me to grow my roots and figure out what my purpose is. I feel safe in Austin and I can see my potential; things I'm not so sure I knew about before moving here. It didn't happen immediately, it has happened over the course of the months I have lived here. It didn't come easy either, I had to overcome some of my fears and I am still overcoming so many things. It's a step I don't think I would've taken anywhere else because I just never felt safe enough to do it. I didn't know that, though. Finding a support system here has been all but easy, but I have so many more opportunities here to build that. I am one in a million in Austin and that is the best part about growing. I can be me; the good, the bad, and the ugly when I feel it is safer important to do so. I don't have to avoid so many negative elements. Of course I have not released my inner self to everyone I have met, and that is part of what I mean when I say I am still working on me. I have years of turmoil and darkness inside of me that I need to cultivate and find some positive energy in.
I have a lot of faith in my ability to continue my growth here, in Austin, my greenhouse. I have been questioning my purpose in life a lot lately. It's been invading my thoughts almost daily. What am I here for? I know the answers are out there, and they are in my heart; my guarded heart. If I continue to be watered, and nurtured, and have consistent access to the light of life I know that I will flourish. I will be who God put me on this Earth to be. I will have a meaningful and purposeful life.
As I sit outside soaking up the partly cloudy sky and warm temperature; taking a much needed mental break from the day I am reflecting how this relates back to me. It's not a comparison that I would've ever thought up on my own, but what a brilliant one it is. I talk all of the time about how much I love Austin. Moving here was probably one of, if not the, best decisions of my life. And it wasn't a decision I made on my own, which makes it even better when thinking about how stubborn I can be in regards to doing what I want to do, not what others think is "best" for me. I don't question my growth since moving here. I have not gone backwards, or "shrunk", if you will. I moved a long ways from home and that was the very first step outside of my comfort zone. The rest of the steps have been in the right direction, leading me to much bigger growth (literally and figuratively, HA!). I had to do several things that many probably never thought I would handle. Back in December when I was reflecting on my first year in Austin it was so obvious to me how much I have grown. I think about my (almost) two years in Sioux Falls and while I wish I could say with all honesty that they were great years, they really weren't. They provided me with many challenges that I did overcome, but I felt stuck, and I felt like I was alone in my fight against whatever it was I was fighting then. I was damaged goods when I moved to Austin but the great thing about it was nobody knew that, and I had a fresh pot of soil to plant myself in.
To me Austin is the greenhouse, the home, the perfect fresh soil for me to grow my roots and figure out what my purpose is. I feel safe in Austin and I can see my potential; things I'm not so sure I knew about before moving here. It didn't happen immediately, it has happened over the course of the months I have lived here. It didn't come easy either, I had to overcome some of my fears and I am still overcoming so many things. It's a step I don't think I would've taken anywhere else because I just never felt safe enough to do it. I didn't know that, though. Finding a support system here has been all but easy, but I have so many more opportunities here to build that. I am one in a million in Austin and that is the best part about growing. I can be me; the good, the bad, and the ugly when I feel it is safer important to do so. I don't have to avoid so many negative elements. Of course I have not released my inner self to everyone I have met, and that is part of what I mean when I say I am still working on me. I have years of turmoil and darkness inside of me that I need to cultivate and find some positive energy in.
I have a lot of faith in my ability to continue my growth here, in Austin, my greenhouse. I have been questioning my purpose in life a lot lately. It's been invading my thoughts almost daily. What am I here for? I know the answers are out there, and they are in my heart; my guarded heart. If I continue to be watered, and nurtured, and have consistent access to the light of life I know that I will flourish. I will be who God put me on this Earth to be. I will have a meaningful and purposeful life.
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