Skip to main content

Fatigue

Fatigue
[fuh-teeg]

noun
1.weariness from bodily or mental exertion.



I am so mentally fatigued that I don't even know what day it is anymore. I haven't been sleeping well for the past 7-10 days and it is wearing on me. I am so busy at work that I don't even know if I am coming or going half the time. I can barely keep my head above water lately. I am so tired of the day to day bullshit. I am so exhausted from trying to do everything. I am burned out from this anxiety that has taken itself to a new level. I was starting to feel the progress that I was making. It was evident to me in my day to day life that things were better. I had less anxiety. I had a slightly higher level of confidence in myself. I was utilizing my coping skills. I was doing my best to build my self esteem. I was feeling so much better about things overall. I came back from Thanksgiving with a positive outlook after leaving in such a funk. I wrote about how I had a better than anticipated transition back to reality.  I had a renewed sense of energy that I was on the right path and that maybe, just maybe, I could put anxiety in the backseat of my life. Just like that it's back up front, riding shot gun and trying so hard to take over the driver's seat. I know with the holidays coming up it is not going to get better anytime soon.


12.26.16
I didn't finish this post when I started it. I had a few bad days and just couldn't do it. Now that the holidays are here and gone I have so much more to write about. I'm trying everything in my toolbox to regulate myself and stay calm, but it's not working so well. Because this is how anxiety takes over my life, I'm not going to finish this post. I will start a new one about the past couple of weeks and maybe when I'm feeling up to it I can write a more in depth post about fatigue and how damn tired I am.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Lost.

Life lately has been hard. I had a rough week and it seems to have carried through the weekend as well. I hate to even admit that because I'm trying to make some changes in my brain. I'm trying to hammer out what a bad day really is. I'm trying to learn what makes a bad day in Meghan's world. I've been down on myself lately and I don't even understand why. Nothing has changed. My anxiety is constant and I feel like I don't even remember what it's like to not be hyper vigilant. I am in this state of constant worry with "what ifs" running rampant in my brain. It's been having difficulty concentrating on my job, being present in conversations, and even caring about myself in general. I've been irritable and tired.  I just haven't been myself and because I don't know what the real issue is I don't know what to do to bring myself back. I'm stuck. I'm full of doubt and worry and none of it is worth the time I spend thinkin...
2 comments
Read more

Whatever Happened to Respect?

I've been thinking a lot lately. Shocker, I know. A friend of mine reached out to me a few months ago about my blog. He talked to me about how he had been tossing around the idea of starting a blog. I asked him what he wanted to write about. His reply really shocked me. He told me he often keeps his opinions to himself and is a "people pleaser" during conversations to avoid any arguments or disagreements between him and his friends. He told me that if his friends knew what his real thoughts and feelings on different topics were they would be really surprised. I was shocked! I didn't think he was one to just go with the crowd. I explained to him that I thought that was a great thing to write about and how I have worked my way out of being that same way. We talked about how keeping our mouth shut doesn't do any good in the long run and eventually it starts to really wear on a person to feel like they can never voice their opinion without feeling like your friends wi...
1 comment
Read more

Word Vomit

This world and the people in it have gotten so.....delusional. Somewhere along the line people forgot that kindness is free. I'm not talking about helping someone who can't reach the top shelf at the grocery store (although this is something I often do!), or holding the door (common decency) but the kindness that comes along with listening to people who have different opinions than your own. Treating them with respect even if you don't agree with what they're saying. Not making assumptions based on what someone does or does not do. And quite frankly, I'm tired of it. Perhaps I'm in the minority with my thoughts and opinions and morals and beliefs, but even so I shouldn't feel so afraid or sharing them. I try to keep my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself to avoid being attacked by the keyboard warriors, but I realize that this is part of the problem. As tired as I am of the news and the debates and arguments and name calling and judging over COVID 19, BLM, ...
Post a Comment
Read more